Heb jij afgelopen week ook beleeft als onwerkelijk en gelijktijdig ‘zo echt’? Precies. dat ja. Terwijl ik handelde en reageerde op mailtjes en nieuwsberichten vroeg ik mij allerlei dingen af. Hoe serieus moet ik het nemen, en wat neem ik dan serieus. Wat betekent dit voor mij, voor mijn gezin, mijn onderneming en niet in de laatste plaats mijn bankrekening.
Uit de oude schoenendoos
Mijn eerste reactie was als vanouds. Direct handelen en prioriteiten stellen. Kinderen niet naar school, oké dan werk ik thuis. Planning en afspraken maken. Duidelijkheid voorop en zorgen dat alles naast elkaar kan doorlopen.
Geen betaalde trainingen meer, nou dan ga ik toch even weer in mijn oude vakgebied aan de slag. Mijn afspraken zette ik om naar video-calling, lang leve internet en mobiel. Ik heb het nog nooit zo druk gehad.
Want hé, ik ben niet voor een gat te vangen en heb meer dan genoeg meegemaakt, waardoor ik nergens meer van opkijk. Als-2-jarige wees, in een niet harmonieus adoptiegezin opgegroeid en als 15-jarige het huis verlaten, was het me gelukt twee studies af te maken en een succesvolle onderneming neer te zetten en superleuke kids op de wereld te zetten. Ik ken de klappen van de zweep. Dus ging ik direct in de stand van “overleven”, en sloeg net als heel Nederland toiletpapier in en maakte een planning zodat werken en kinderen gecombineerd konden worden. Overzag mijn financiën en nam maatregelen.
En dat gaat mij fantastisch goed af.
Mijn tweede reactie was: maar wil ik dit wel? Mijn antwoord is NEE!
Wat beïnvloedt mijn gedrag
Na van de eerste schrik bekomen te zijn, en overspoeld te zijn met hartverwarmende en inspirerende, en energie-boostende ‘post’s, filmpjes en grapjes aanschouwde ik alles nog een keer en kwam tot de conclusie dat ons gedrag direct correspondeert met de Piramide van Maslow.
De piramide van Maslow
De motivatietheorie en behoeftehiërarchie van Maslow bestaat uit vijf fasen. De theorie van Maslow wordt meestal weergegeven als een piramide. De laagste niveaus van de piramide bestaan uit de meest elementaire behoeften, terwijl de meest complexe behoeften bovenaan de piramide staan. De Piramide van Maslow impliceert dat we pas aan de hogere levensbehoeften toekomen als aan de onderste levensbehoeften is voldaan.
En daar zag ik het opeens heel helder voor me. We voorzien eerst in onze basisbehoeften, namelijk eten en drinken, vervolgens gaat de aandacht vooral naar financiën, welke regelingen zijn er, zijn er andere manieren om geld te verdienen en kan ik straks ook nog mijn geld verdienen.
We passen (noodgedwongen) onze leefstijl aan, en zorgen we dat we contact blijven onderhouden via Social media.
Gelijktijdig ontstaan er ook allemaal inspirerende, ontroerende en hartverwarmende initiatieven om bij te dragen aan het collectief belang, de samenhorigheid.
En de mooiste overpeinzingen worden gedeeld.
Het collectief gedrag van de mensen is terug te leiden naar de piramide van Maslow.
Als je ons als groep bekijkt klopt het helemaal. Maar wat maakt nu dat de ene persoon zich volledig neerlegt bij zijn noodlot en de ander juist kansen ziet, of zelfs tijd neemt voor reflectie?
Wie bepaalt bij welke groep jij hoort? Wie bepaalt of je praktisch aan de slag gaat of je bezig houdt met reflectie? Heb je daar invloed op en hoe “verrijkend” is het voor je (financieel of geestelijk).
Stel nu eens dat de piramide van Maslow geen wetmatigheid is, maar een keuze die jezelf kunt bepalen?
Wie stuurt?
Het is dan wel belangrijk te weten waar je naar toe wilt alvorens je jouw doel kunt bereiken.
De 3 vragen die je je kunt stellen zijn:
wie en wat heeft mijn aandacht,
in welke mate wordt mijn aandacht bepaald door noodzaak
in welke mate heb ik daar een keuze in?
Vervolgens kun je bepalen hoe dit te managen. Vraagt het om praktische oplossingen of is het een kwestie van mindset?
Waar sta jij?
Door zoveel mogelijk de noodzaak weg te nemen ontstaat er ruimte om deze in te vullen met keuzemogelijkheden. Dat kan praktische oplossingen vragen maar kan ook vragen om een andere mindset.
Heb jij jezelf al de vraag gesteld:
Waar WIL ik staan in de piramide van Maslow?
Door jezelf deze vraag te stellen bepaal je voor jezelf waar je aandacht aan wilt geven. Want dat wat je aandacht geeft groeit.
Annuleren of voortzetten?
Het was 16-03-2020. Een aankondiging van ongekende impact kwam ook bij mij binnen. Op een moment dat ik na vele omzwervingen, verkeerde afslagen en verdwaald te zijn geweest mijn route had gevonden en mijn doel had bepaald. Ik was net lekker bezig nog succesvoller te worden met mijn passie. In het afgelopen jaar had ik keuzes gemaakt, investeringen gedaan, afscheid genomen van zekerheden en was het avontuur aangegaan. Op deze zondag maakte ik rechtsomkeer. Om vervolgens weer de oude weg te nemen. Een weg die maar al te goed kende. Waarvan ik wist dat het een hobbelige weg was, met veel kuilen. Een weg die al mijn aandacht opslokte waardoor ik niet kan genieten van de omgeving en de reis. En terwijl ik doorploeterde stelde ik mijzelf steeds weer de vraag. Waar heb ik het al die tijd voor gedaan? Is dit wat ik wil? Laat ik de situatie voor mij bepalen of bepaal ik zelf. Blijf ik nu trouw aan wat ik geloof? Waar ik echt voor wil gaan.
Namelijk positief denken en doen.
Dat is waar ik voor sta. Dat is wat ik uitdraag! En dat is hoe ik wil leven! Er is maar een manier om dat te doen. De weg vervolgen, accepteren wat ik onderweg tegenkom en de obstakels als uitdagingen zien.
Kleur bekennen
We staan allemaal voor een uitdaging. Welke uitdaging dat is, is persoonlijk. Hoe je straks uit de Corona-periode komt ook. Belangrijk is om een positieve mindset te houden en er op te vertrouwen dat je zelf invloed hebt op wat er gebeurt.
Neem een besluit waar je wilt staan op de piramide van Maslow in dit Corona tijdperk.
Schrijf op voor jezelf wat daarvoor nodig is
Maak tijd en geef aandacht aan wat je wilt bereiken
Wil jij hierover van gedachten wisselen, voel je vrij om mij te bellen | 06-42145415
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